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2007 Courtney’s Define The Relationship Email

November 1, 2012 No Comments by admin

Courtney and I have been married for 5 years now and have a beautiful 2 year old. It is so crazy to think how far we have come, meeting on ministry trips in Des Moines, Iowa. Just six months after meeting we married and started our life together…. so young! You can read the full story here…

The other day I was browsing through OLD myspace messages and found one when Courtney ever so boldly requested a DTR (Define The Relationship). It is so sobering to think … what if I ran away… what if I didn’t see the heart and passion in this girl. Courtney and I are so very blessed now and I am so thankful for her… but so wild to think if this pivotal point had gone any other way.

Crazy… I didn’t need to pray about it, I didn’t need to think about it… Something inside of me knew that this was the girl. My answer to this message was pretty clear.


Hey There.

I hope this email finds you doing well. It was great to talk with you last night. I always find myself entertained by our conversations.

So, I’ve been thinking a lot about things lately. That’s one of the reasons I asked you why you thought that about me. I don’t understand what made me different or stand out from anyone else you met that weekend. While it has been great getting to know you over these past few weeks, it has been quite sudden. I have to be honest, at times I feel overwhelmed and don’t know quite how to respond. I know Cody said we are both big flirts, which unfortunately is true, but I think that can lead to us rushing into a deep friendship quickly. I think that doesn’t leave much time for forming a solid foundation upon which a lasting friendship can be built. I don’t know exactly what your intentions are , but from our conversations and such it seems as if you are pursuing something other than just a friendship. I’m not going to lie, that idea does sound quite appealing to me. I must confess that I am scared because I have been hurt by relationships like this in the past. Things seem like they are perfect and will work out great, but it didn’t end up that way. It has been easy to trust you and to get to know you, but I still can’t shake this underlying fear of getting hurt again. I don’t know how you will feel about all this, but I know I needed to say it. I don’t want to push you away or stop talking, I just want to be honest. I am sincerely interested in getting to know you and being your friend. I want to know where you’re coming from and what you think about all this as well. 

Hopefully I’ll talk to you soon.


Pictures from 2007

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